Returning to work & sleep
I’m often asked the question ‘How will my little one sleep when I return to work?’. And I know that it’s a source of worry for parents — often long before maternity leave ends.
Returning to work and leaving your little one is daunting as it is - but throw into the mix a little one who has a preference for contact naps, has only ever fallen asleep feeding or who point blank refuses to nap for anyone else — it’s understandably stressful.
Will they cry all day?
Will they refuse to sleep for hours on end?
Nursery doesn’t even have slings!
So what to do? My short answer: nothing.
My longer answer: you could spend the final months of your maternity leave battling with your baby to sleep out of arms, fall asleep off the breast or with someone other than yourself.
But honestly, this is likely to make you both miserable. Your little one will get less sleep in the short-term and you risk creating some separation anxiety as you persevere trying to persuade them to part with their beloved sleep association — you. Ultimately, you’re wasting the precious time you have together when you could be spending it doing much nicer things. Especially now, we can actually do some of these nicer things!
Battling with them like this also in no way guarantees that when you do return to work — that your little one will sleep like a dream to begin with. In all honesty, they're probably going to be a bit miffed to be separated from you either way and your efforts will have been in vain.
The thing is, infants are resilient little creatures. They’re very good at adapting to their environment and when you’re not there, they won't expect to fall asleep in the same way as when you are.
They’ll soon find a new way of falling asleep (likely for longer and more easily than they do when with you - soz about that!) and that's how they'll sleep whilst there.
Then, when you’re reunited — you can continue feeding/rocking/wearing them to sleep as usual. No drama or need to change anything!
Their sleep might go a bit off-kilt when they first start: they might wake more frequently or want to nurse more often at night to reconnect with you after being apart whilst they get used to the new rhythm.
Co-sleeping, bed-sharing, taking more time on a nurturing bedtime routine and love-bombing them when you are together are all good ways of easing any separation anxiety and getting more sleep yourself.
Ensuring you choose a childcare provider that you like, trust and who respects your wishes in terms of caring for your child will make the transition much easier for you.
Then all you need to do is let go of any and all worries about how your baby will sleep when they’re apart from you and try and trust that they just will.
Written by Claire, IBCLC and founder of Latch. Claire supports families with evidence-based breastfeeding and responsive sleep support and volunteers with Leeds Bosom Buddies and the National Breastfeeding Helpline.
